THIS. DIET. ROCKS. I know it's only been two days, but I went from 127 to 125.5 in two days!! I'm only 4.5 pounds away from my second goal weight of 120!! I'm sorry I didn't write yesterday I was trying to get into my classes for college. Hard as FUCK. There are like 30 people waiting for each class. Ridiculous. But, anyway, TODAAAY I finally got my add code to get into a Guidance 101 class... which is basically "How to Start Out in College and NOT Become a Huge Freshman Fuck-Up and Dishonor Your Entire Family for Eternity...101."
As far as Ana goes, I'm feeling really really good about it. It's SO much easier to not eat now because I'm running around for college and job hunting. Now all I need is a car and a gym membership. Speaking of job hunting, I applied at a pizza place near my house. I used the ol' Sparkley Red Push-Up Bra and Tight Jeans on 'em. And he seemed to really like me ;) I've heard it's easy to work around food without eating it, so I really hope I get this job... The guy I talked to totes wants to fuck me, so I'm almost sure I'll get it.
So, right now, I'm kinda winding down. Watching Here Comes Honey-BooBoo for some...excellent fatspo. How do you guys feel about "Fatspo" or "Reverse Thinspo"? If you don't know what it is, it's basically pictures of people you don't want to look like (fat, ugly bitches). It's designed, I imagine, to make you realize that if you eat, you'll eventually look like that. A sort of "you-dont-want-this-do-you" sort of thing, if you will. Honestly, it works for me. I might be going to Hell for this, but, when I look at those people, it just reassures the EVIL that I know food to be.
I wrote a list of everything wrong with my body i.e. Love Handles, Arm Fat, Back Fat, Thighs Touching, Flabby Tummy. Uck. It's motivating to say the very least. You know what else is motivating? Hot boys that like me. FINALLY.
I want to be skinny for this one boy we'll call M. He's AMAZING. And his body.. ugh. He told me he works out til he throws up. I'm like "Sweetie, you shouldn't over-exercise, it's bad for you." Then I was like ... Ellie, you run til you throw up all the time. So, I guess I shouldn't be saying anything. But if I have any reason to get skinny.. it's this boy. So, I'm also using him for motivation. I have a lot of methods. I drew pink lines around my wrist, like a permanent bracelet, around both wrists. I drew a little pink dragonfly on one of them for my "Ana Bracelets." It works pretty well :)
eating isn't very CHANEL.
Anyway, I'm dying my hair back to my natural brunette. I'll be more sultry this way... ;) I'll be like those gorgeous skinny, long-haired brunettes you see on your thinspo. I'll get to wear tiny ripped up jean shorts and pretty bralets. I'll dance around and smoke ciggies and flirt and sing and boys will like it. They'll like me. They'll kiss me. They'll help me when I'm drunk.
I'll be the "cute pizza factory counter girl." I'll get to wear big sweaters... I'll get to jump on boys... I'll get to be adorable without trying.
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