Ana Camp Day 4

It seems much easier to just fast for the duration of this holiday so I'm just gonna do that. When in doubt about caloric content of things, to not eat is better than taking a chance and eating something. Eating things without knowing the exact caloric content terrifies me, as I'm sure some of you can relate.
Ever since I first discovered it in a Tumblr post, Anorexic Alice in Hungerland (composed by a very talented Pro Ana Tumblr) has become sort of a ritual to prepare me for the day ahead. I'm about to copy it to my blog simply because I've fallen in love with it.

Anorexic Alice in Hungerland

Curiouser and curiouser, you will wander along rainbow walkways, through grandiose gardens and Mad Hatter masquerade balls. Munch on the magic mushroom and miraculously materialize into a giant girl, bursting through broken doorways. Ingest the evil cake claiming "Eat Me," and watch as your skin stretches, your dainty doll stiches screaming as they snap and you pour out in a ponderous puddle. Eat anything in Hungerland, and you're guarunteed to grow, your image imposing on the impressive idols of thinness: Whoever heard of a model walking down the runway wearing a house as a hat? Forget ever being called FAT as you shift your gaze to the glass table center-staged on checkerboard floors. Collect the crystal bottle with the cream-coloured ribbon that ties the tiny tag telling of the one truth among the haze of hysteria: "Drink Me," and take pleasure as the potion for perfection pours down your throat. Smile as you steadily shrink until you're petite enough to persuade disorderly doorknobs to turn and hurl you headfirst into Hungerland.

Once you've stepped into the spine of you spectacular storybook, painted with pictures of pretty poppies who never pig out on pastries and dancing dandelions who never dig into dinner, you can mute the moans of hungry tummies at maddening tea parties. Steer clear of the sugar bowl, distract yourself as you find delight in the delirious dormouse who dictates sideways songs to the teapot and saucers. Crazed on caffiene in china cups, sip mania with the Mad Hatter and the March Hare as you skip around the table; tireless circles to burn calories. The cheshire cat cracks a crescent moon smile at your excellence as A n o r e x i c  A l i  c e.

Frolic down footpaths until you crash into the Caterpillar, carefully count calories as you fly high on hookah about hunger pangs. Blow beautiful O's, zero's floating by in fantastical emblems of allowed caloric limits. Swish through the smoke of insanity. Nothing more than a wisp of a waif of yourself. Recite the rhymes that remind you to resist terrifying temptation:

"How doth the little crocodile

improve his shining tail.

And pour the WATERS of the nile

on every golden scale.

How cheerfully he seems to grin,

how neatly spreads his claws.

And welcomes little fishies in,

with gently smiling jaws."

Eventually you'll encounter the heavyset Queen of Hearts, but you're exempt from her execution, your collarbones too sharp for any card to seize you. Your head is already gone away. Turn cartwheels for the crowd as you crush the Queen in her croquet games, flouncing a flamingo about as you hit hedgehogs, hole-in-one, a goal gained on the grass for every goal weight you reach, a cadaverous champion. Paint the roses red to protect your pretty secret, skinny stomach concealed by curtsies and mild manners.

Whisk away from the world of rolling heads to seek out the White Rabbit, be sure to scratch down how many calories you burn by sprinting after him, and laugh as you lose the weight that ruined your life in the real world. Make merry and mess around with the nonsensical nuts of Hungerland, enjoy how everyone there is empty of sanity.

When the day is done, drop to knobby knees and pray that you're never pulled out of your wonderful world and dropped back into doomed reality. There is no waking up from this dream in a field of daisies for A n o r e x i c  A l i c e, only darkness as you decompose six-feet deep in the dirt.

...SO that's that. um. I find it incredibly inspiring and extremely well-written. I read it most every morning to really get myself in the mindset of the day. If I feel as if I'm this whispy beautiful character, it makes fasting and counting calories almost like a game of make-believe. Don't lose hope, my dears. I have copied Anorexic Alice in Hungerland into my Ana Book. It's only a few paragraphs, if you write it in really whimsical cursive, it looks really cool. I sugest, if you like it as much as I do, writing or typing it up somewhere you can see it every day.