Disco.

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I'm officially a wanorexic. I fucked up on my Ana Camp... I went to actual camp and all my family packed was cookies and peanut m&ms. I didn't gain too much tho.. But today's definately a green tea day... maybe tomorrow too.

I need to get into that gym so I hope that lady calls back soon, I can't wait to set foot on a tredmill and run until I can't breathe. My belly's looking flatter, that's perhaps because I haven't eaten in a while. I fucking suck at this. I might as well just fast. I've got the teapot on the stove so hopefully my huge fucking thighs will keep me motivated.
My mom's being a fucking cunt this morning, as usual. It's SUMMER VACATION and she insists I get up at five AM. And you know what, getting up at 5 wouldn't be horrible if she actually had something for me to do, like chores or work or something. But no. She just wakes me up so I'll be up. It's like "Bitch, let me sleep. It's the last week of summer, on Monday, I'll be thrown to the college hounds, just let me fucking sleep in while I can." Her and her fucking husband are really REALLY getting on my nerves. They need to leave me the fuck alone..
Anyway, so about college... I'm really excited. I'm going to a community college. The name sounds kinda ghetto but it's not I hope. On Monday I'm supposed to sit into a bunch of classes and ask the professor to squeeze me in at the end. Sounds like an easy day right? Wrong. I'm so afraid of rejection. That's why I hate job hunting. It's so simple, right? Just ask for a manager and ask for a job opening, right? Not for me. I'm so afraid that they'll say "um no." Or "we're not hiring, sorry." And then I'll have to walk away trying to be cool about it and everyone will see. It's so embarassing. I guess that's how Ana came into my life, huh, being afraid of rejection. People reject people who are fat and who aren't beautiful. I didn't want to be rejected like I was so much in middle school. When I was fat.
My peppermint green tea is done :) hot hot. I feel so skinny when I drink tea. There's this tea, Celestial Berry Tea. Whenever I make it, the smell reminds me of Ana. I think it's because it was the first tea I ever had to keep myself from eating. I think tea is the best meal substitute.
I need to surround myself with pro ana again. The only problem with that is I'm afraid mymother will find out... fuck it I'm moving out. My grandpa told me I should move out because I told him that all my mother cares about is her stupid husband and buying things that dead people owned.
Hm. well it's 9:21 AM  right now so I guess I have nothing to report. If I think of anything anorexic-y, I'll add it ;)